Super-Mullets...and the Mullet cam

So, I don't know why, but since coming to Europe I have seen more Mullets in one month- than I have seen in my entire life (and that is saying a lot since I come from Chehalis). But the aren't just mullets- the are super mullets. Some of them are long, some of them are short. Some of them involve very elaborate shaved designs. Regardless- I have decided to start the "Mullet Cam" (I might call it "Mullet Vision"- who really knows). At any rate every time I see a mullet- I will get a picture with the "business in the front, party in the back" fellow- and post them.

Let the Mullet Vision Begin!

why I hate chick flicks

vs

In photo number 1 we see a very cute version of me in an adorable JCrew dress...and magically in photo number 2 we see a very disgruntled looking version of me. Why? Let's talk about this for a minute....because I am 99% sure that when I get old I will end up alone with one million books, 1 million movies, too many shoes, and a couple dogs....

Every time a girl hears me rant over my uber hatred for "chick flicks" they are shocked and amazed. I realize that I am a rare breed of woman. However, in Vienna my hatred for chick flicks is really justified.

I live in a city where literally everyone is ridiculously...um...twidderpated for lack of a better word. Every time I turn a corner I see a happy couple looking cute, or kissing passionately, and I don't get bitter, I just think (and sometimes I think it would just be better to be bitter).

The reason that I hate chick flicks is because the give people unrealistic expectations of love. If my life was a chick flick...the following things would have happened:

1) I would have married my high school boyfriend

2) My Ex-Ex-Boyfriend (who lived in Virginia) would have ran through an airport to stop me from getting on a plane back to Seattle.

3) My Ex boyfriend would have taken our one year anniversary as an opportunity to make me smile, instead of us breaking up in Vienna.

Well...let's see, I most definitely did not marry Nick, Ryan has never ran through an airport, and Zach and I are broken up for good....hmmmm....chick flicks blow.

The only films that are allowed to relate to life are Star Wars- A New Hope, Star Wars- The Empire Strikes Back, and Star Wars- The Return of the Jedi. If you have been my friend for long enough you have heard my Star Wars and life speal- so too bad. It is my blog.

So, life is like Star Wars. In the first act you meet all of the main characters, in the second act all of the main characters are put in the most impossible horrible situation imaginable (because that is more interesting), and lastly in the end the audience reaches a conclusion, evil is conquered, and ewoks dance.

Now for a long time I have felt stuck in this second scene. Symbolically my hand has been cut off, I found out that Vader was my father, and I was frozen in Carbonite...lame. And while I will always stand by my opinion that Empire is one of the greatest movies of all time, I wish that the second act would end and that some ewoks would dance...because this kind of sucks.

I guess that the bottom line for me is that karma doesn't work- at least not for me. Somehow lately I feel like some kind of higher being has been bored, and decided my life was worth laughing at. Because just when I think things can't get worse...they seem to come close.

Not to complain (t00 much) because I know that I live in a beautiful city and that in a few months I get to come home to friends and family that love me- but still, I guess that I am just baffled as to why such bad things can happen to seemingly good people....

Slow down, you crazy child
you're so ambitious for a juvenile
But then if you're so smart,
tell me Why are you still so afraid?
Where's the fire, what's the hurry about?
You'd better cool it off
before you burn it out
You've got so much to do and
Only so many hours in a day
But you know that when the truth is told..
That you can get what you want or you get old
You're gonna kick off before you even
Get halfway through
When will you realize,
Vienna waits for you?
Slow down, you're doing fine
You can't be everything you want to be
Before your time
Although it's so romantic on the borderline tonight
Tonight,...
Too bad but it's the life you lead you're so ahead of yourself that you forgot what you need Though you can see when you're wrong, you know
You can't always see when you're right. you're right
You've got your passion, you've got your pride but don't you know that only fools are satisfied? Dream on, but don't imagine they'll all come true
When will you realize,
Vienna waits for you?
Slow down, you crazy child and take the phone off the hook
and disappear for awhile it's all right, you can afford to lose a day or two
When will you realize,..Vienna waits for you?
And you know that when the truth is told that
you can get what you want or you can just get old
You're gonna kick off before you even get half through Why don't you realize,.
Vienna waits for you
When will you realize,
Vienna waits for you?

So yes Ninja, thanks to your Billy Joel "kick" I do realize that this song is a synopsis of my life....so this- is just for you....dammit

what I love about Vienna

So on Sunday Michelle, Nicole and I decided to break out of the first district and explore a new part of the beautiful city. I have no idea where we went, but I know we rode the U4 til it hit its end, then we took a bus. Regardless the view was stunning and the sun was shinning and all in all it was just a good day to get out of the city for some country air. That is what I love about Vienna, in 20 minutes or less you can hop over to another district and feel like you are in a completely different place.

a night at the opera....

So on Saturday we all went to see Madame Butterfly, which in itself is a very depressing opera. The bummer was that our seats were terrible, and I had to stand on my tipp-toes while hovering above an old couple (creepy I know) to see anything. To be honest it was more fun to watch the orchestra half the time, but at least I was able to get dressed up, and now I feel more cultured.

so....do you think we are related?

Today was the kiddo's 18th birthday. Send him well wishes...but more so make sure he behaves himself.

justifiably disgruntled....

I have looked at a few pictures of myself over the past few weeks, and I have decided that in most of them I am justifiably disgruntled. Because, I think Europe hates me. It sensed I was coming and set out to bend me over. Let's examine this idea.......

1. my hair straightener spontaneously combusted

2. an old woman insulted my breasts

3. for hours I couldn't use my cell phone...BECAUSE IT WAS IN GERMAN!

4. I am constantly on escalators....therefore constantly falling down

5. This city is full of poo. Dog poo. Everywhere. walking is like running an obstacle course of poop.

6. I am the only person who comes to one of the most romantic cities in Europe...and ends up single... long story

7. I was mauled by a giant man in a chicken suit on stilts

8. I lost my brown sweater

There is more, but I don't want to complain. However, I still see myself as justifiably disgruntled