why I hate chick flicks

vs

In photo number 1 we see a very cute version of me in an adorable JCrew dress...and magically in photo number 2 we see a very disgruntled looking version of me. Why? Let's talk about this for a minute....because I am 99% sure that when I get old I will end up alone with one million books, 1 million movies, too many shoes, and a couple dogs....

Every time a girl hears me rant over my uber hatred for "chick flicks" they are shocked and amazed. I realize that I am a rare breed of woman. However, in Vienna my hatred for chick flicks is really justified.

I live in a city where literally everyone is ridiculously...um...twidderpated for lack of a better word. Every time I turn a corner I see a happy couple looking cute, or kissing passionately, and I don't get bitter, I just think (and sometimes I think it would just be better to be bitter).

The reason that I hate chick flicks is because the give people unrealistic expectations of love. If my life was a chick flick...the following things would have happened:

1) I would have married my high school boyfriend

2) My Ex-Ex-Boyfriend (who lived in Virginia) would have ran through an airport to stop me from getting on a plane back to Seattle.

3) My Ex boyfriend would have taken our one year anniversary as an opportunity to make me smile, instead of us breaking up in Vienna.

Well...let's see, I most definitely did not marry Nick, Ryan has never ran through an airport, and Zach and I are broken up for good....hmmmm....chick flicks blow.

The only films that are allowed to relate to life are Star Wars- A New Hope, Star Wars- The Empire Strikes Back, and Star Wars- The Return of the Jedi. If you have been my friend for long enough you have heard my Star Wars and life speal- so too bad. It is my blog.

So, life is like Star Wars. In the first act you meet all of the main characters, in the second act all of the main characters are put in the most impossible horrible situation imaginable (because that is more interesting), and lastly in the end the audience reaches a conclusion, evil is conquered, and ewoks dance.

Now for a long time I have felt stuck in this second scene. Symbolically my hand has been cut off, I found out that Vader was my father, and I was frozen in Carbonite...lame. And while I will always stand by my opinion that Empire is one of the greatest movies of all time, I wish that the second act would end and that some ewoks would dance...because this kind of sucks.

I guess that the bottom line for me is that karma doesn't work- at least not for me. Somehow lately I feel like some kind of higher being has been bored, and decided my life was worth laughing at. Because just when I think things can't get worse...they seem to come close.

Not to complain (t00 much) because I know that I live in a beautiful city and that in a few months I get to come home to friends and family that love me- but still, I guess that I am just baffled as to why such bad things can happen to seemingly good people....